4. I agree with what you said, actually, having a system, creating reasonable expectations, and the iron. How do I know you don’t know tired? But it’s different for everyone. So, if you want to lie down, don’t fight it. And yes.. forever pretty much the tiredness. Stephanie, I agree that being tired is a universal mom thing, I just wrote from my own perspective as a sahm and my job pre-motherhood. She always asks me, "Why am I so tired?" I have no desire to live your kind of life! Leslie Andrews I am always on, always aware, always on duty. Gillianna has cystic fibrosis, for you all that don’t know what that is it is a genetic disorder that causes the body to over produce mucus and lose to much salt. Try to hang onto all the positive memories and take lots of pictures and video. Y’all can go check it. One likely reason is that your body uses lots of energy to deal with your frequent changes in blood sugar levels. And no shouting! But maybe that is just the exhaustion talking today. He is often yawning, becomes visibly tired after just a few minutes of running around and generally has to be woken up in the morning for school. Why is it that stay at home moms, for the most part, respect working moms and single mothers because they realize their worth? I began feelibg as though i was blacking out and falling into a hole and so i would take myself to hospital thinking i was heading somewere very svary. Oh how much I loved reading this post, especially the part where your say “You are weary because everyday last week you made sure your little ones had food in their bellies, even if it wasn’t mostly organic and preservative free”. What makes me really angry is, when my husband says – and he does not stop saying this! Geeezzz, it was like you were inside my brain today! After coming home my husband saw how distraught I have been and said, “I think you have it good… You get to spend time with our son and not worry about working. We are all exhausted because our kids didn’t drink bleach today. Why Is Mommy So Tired? On top of that I homeschool……yes I like torture! My husband and I own a trucking company so he is gone and I am in charge of the house, bills, kids, etc. He’s able to pass me the mental burden. Not to mention teething so up all night crying! That guilt surpasses the stress. Why am I always so tired? When I finally felt tired (kids were aged 3 -9), I went to a doctor, who said, “of course you are tired, you have four children”. I’m here to tell you, moms, that it does get better as they get older. Still be at home but just lie on coutch and watch a movie!! Thank you for putting to words what I and many other Moms feel! I am exhausted in particular by outings. I’ve noticed that anytime we leave the house, I always look around and if I see some one strange walking by the road I watch them until they are out of sight. giggling. Things that were seemingly safe, like a chair, suddenly become an opportunity for big falls. AVOID INBOX FOMO. Reading through the comments, it makes me sad and frustrated that working moms like to slam SAHM’s. This was made obvious to me when I find myself traveling for work. I actually like it this way, my time to shine and “look good” will come again, right now I’m just busy with children. Shouldn’t we as moms all be encouraging one another? But it’s not something to martyr yourself over if it’s only called stress. I think it’s obvious where the disconnect lies- many men (not all!) Check the statistics on this and you’ll see the proof for the majority of the SAHM population they report higher levels of anxiety, exhaustion and stress than working moms, not my opinion-FACT! Really?! Amanda, bless you warrior mama! I never find myself judging other mothers outfits or their hair-do’s. I am going to use this the next time someone tells me I look tired. Or to not have a perfectly coiffed hairdo. The night feeds don’t last long. Also we are only human and there are many things that can tweek out thought patterns. I know you have your own unique and serious struggles. And you made me cry. At least until next semester I’ll actually go to class which means more money for day care. Bless you, girl! In the few short days that I have been exercising this method. I loved reading it. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience online. that is ridiculous. Anyway, thanks so much for posting this! I’ve done both. I was a stay at home mom of young children, I was a working mom of young children and I am now a working mom of older children. thumbs up justme! What’s one more in this chaos when they are really so loveable and wonderful? Tiredness is common for all moms-to-be. We do see the beauty in the everyday more so, but we wear out quicker too. Boys will give you a run for your money and one coming up on teenage yeras! Any situation really. I work full time and my job is almost an hour away. -no matter how stressful any job you could possibly have, you have one thing that I envy: the ability to clock in and out . This article really gives me something to think about in terms of how to get motivated again to work out. Just some time alone to clean the bathroom by myself would be fantastic! I am a physician but now stay at home for sometime . He wanted me to be at home. Seems everyone gets their needs taken care of except myself. Thank you for this post and I am looking forward to reading the helpful resources. I tried to go back in an edit that comment…i have one 4 year old grandson, not 4 of them! Between homeschool and littles and SO MUCH CHAOS I just feel drained. I could never do what you ladies do. Everything is making me frown today, My kids are teenagers, so I have the pleasure of having my nephews 18 month old daughter and nieces 24 month old son during the day. Amen!! This negative discussions do not help and are exhausting. I hope you and other moms out there can get some support for getting some self-care in. I don’t understand the “stay-at-home” mom movement complaining about being so tired when there are women that do what they do AND work! And to add to it, those of us who are intraverts, are getting NO tome to recahrge from the constant “buzz” Need to recharge —. this article was very spot on thank you. I have 9 months old twins who are always crawling and climbing in different directions. Why are all women and moms exhausted ? Being a mother should be listed among the toughest jobs in the world. I don’t know, all I know is that I need a nap. Thanks for this article! Read: 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Moms Need To Hear. I stay home with a 3-year-old and 6-month-old. Thank goodness this is making the rounds again! I have gone to the doctor and tried many different things to help my fatigue. I have seen many of my contemporaries display that heightened awareness to ensure their children’s safety. Oh how I needed to read this today! Guess what, I’m tired too. The one I baby sit is a whiner she is whining for everything (eating time, nap time, for go outside and play, for go in the car, for use the potty, for watch tv….she whines all day and she is with me 8 am 7 pm) my 15 months old just start to do the stairs by herself up and down ( I have fates everywhere) but she is not talking yet (except for mom, dad, grandpa, grandma) so when she want something and you don’t get it at the first time she screams but she is the quiet one, she can play alone for hours. Also have never drunk poison, been kidnapped, set themselves or anything else on fire, and not killed either of our pets. Thank you so much. My exact thoughts right now. Without its staple fuel, the tissues of the body are not nourished properly and causes fatigue. In the few short days that I have been exercising this method I truly have noticed a change for the better in his response to me. It feels lonely some time even though I have friends and family, but from what I remember in raising my son, by the time he was 5, it got so much easier! So I ready myself and follow tips from super moms out there from getting baby stuff that may be helpful like a baby monitor, apps for babies that I can use on my phone, strollers, etc. :), So true! I don’t care what your job is in life, this competitive crap needs to stop. So, how does this concern us? But after what you said, I can now articulate why being a stay at home parent is so thoroughly exhausting. Staying at home full time I feel like my brain is on constant overdrive, thinking about the safety worries while also dealing with every tantrum or potential tantrum or even good behavior moments. And don’t worry about your hair. I have a career, a huge job I go to everyday where my decisions effect many, many people….I’m never able to checkout….not at work and not on the home front. Thanks for sharing that! Starting today, no more mental-multi-tasking, and the silent unwinding thing is going to be my new favorite time of the day. It is so nice to know that this exaustion is “normal” and will gradually get better. ???? No matter if u just pulled a 16 hr shift, you STILL get to punch out and walk away from that building . Thanks for noticing that I do try to validate everyone, though I can only write from my own perspective as one who stays home. Prepare yourself as much as you can without getting obsessed, then relax and enjoy. Anything to help you. Thanks for your great article. As soon as you get married your life changes. I appreciate your blog and, as a working mom, was hoping there would be a little encouragement for us too…and I noticed it in your responses to others. Leslie Andrews And one with autism, girl I know you are so so exhausted. Can’t wait to read more! You could use a nap because the house has not burned down and the walls are still upright, though perhaps with crayons, markers or fingernail polish you forgot to lock up.”…, This is all work, real work. I wear yoga pants, hardly brush my hair or get a shower or bathroom session to myself, my husband is the sole money earner in the family, I cook, clean, take care of bills, doctors appointments, school things its never ending. I’m making playdates, organizing schedules, and everything else during the day while juggling work. Gloria, that’s EXACTLY what I recommend. When you’re little, you like to think you know everything, but the last thing you really want is to know too much. I feel drained and exhausted from trying to ensure that my voice comes clearly across but at the same time I am neither too loud or there are any other noises around me. boy and 21 month old girl!!!!!! I haven’t been able to explain these feelings to my husband because I didn’t really understand them myself until reading this. It’s this 24/7 thinking, sometimes overthinking and something regretting the choice of words I’ve used, etc, combined with the vigilance on safety that drain me so much more than my job did. Despite cleaning everyday, The house is always a mess and it seems my husband is never pleased and believes I am lazy. This is a good explanation for that. Thank you Grandma! Pretty much all the time. I struggle with, am I doing this right?. I’d lock that poor kid away from danger and everything would be padded. I am weary and sensitive over everything.. then I see their smiling faces and joyful (sometime rough) playing and I relax with a sigh, saying Thank you Lord for my perfect healthy children. Great article. Yes I’m still riding while I’m pregnant, *cringing while all the judge mental women tell me I’m not caring for my inborn child as I’m putting it at risk. In my case the aggravating neighbour or city worker loudly banging away at my door disturbs my client call quality. Depression induces negative feelings and also has negative effects on the body as it causes a reduction in energy levels, changes in sleep and eating patterns, decreased concentration and overall laziness and worthlessness which keeps you in bed all day. Those of us that fall in the HSP category no doubt feel the overstimulation of meeting the many needs of our little people even more compounding then those with genetically “less finely tuned” receptors. But then he forgot. Watch Queue Queue Laura, oh to be on a small farm! Because of this, I worked 80+ hours a week when I was teaching and now I spend all my time being a full-time mom, with a learning disability that makes me feel less than qualified to be a mom. I tumbled into post partum depression/anxiety and didn’t know what to do anymore. You couldn’t possibly know stress!” Get over yourselves. Thank you for this article. What I did not read in your post is the topic “working part-time or full-time”. At 12 weeks baby girl slept through the night and now at 20 weeks old she sleeps a good 10 to 12 hours every night. I’m sure the kids would be happy. Ha! My brain is mush and has bren since my first was born 5 yrs ago. Filed Under: Mental & Emotional Wholeness, Most Popular, Practical Tips for Moms268. You can’t understand true exhaustion until you have a huge job in an office AND a huge job at home neither of which stops to think about the mom/employee and what she might need. I never have an “off” moment. I’m always tired! I slept when the baby slept. I just wanted to say thank you for your easy peasy routine for 2 year olds! Our home is in much better order, and so is my mind. I googled everything I could think about but there was never really something that felt right, that felt genuine instead of just telling do’s and don’ts. Then be at salon at 8 to have my hair blown so I can at least look like a woman for one day. Yes, they were exhausting! Being a mom just takes it to the next level for sure! :), Julie; When us “Mothers of older children” tell you not to worry about the small stuff and that time does pass quickly so enjoy it…we are trying to help not make you feel guilty. No intereaction with adults cannot stop the kid from climbing that bookcase for the 100th time. I work 14 hours, barely get 10 minutes for lunch, and have to now take time to breastpump 3 times a day (if I’m lucky). When I had a career, it was very tiring and high energy. How to stop feeling depressed? When I walk from one room to the other I put away 3 things in the process. I’m starting to work on putting my experiences/thoughts into the model on my own, but I thought it would be nice to have a little extra boost from you on a couple things. We are ALL tired aren’t we? I would give anything to go back and hold him as a baby or 2 yr old again just once. Many moms are always tired and wishing fervently that their husbands or other family members would step forward to help. I stayed home until my daughter was 2 then went back to work, it’s equally hard minus the working mom having to be somewhere not in yoga pants at a certain time! Wow this is pretty sexist. I’m so tired, yet no ones hurt on my watch. Yes, we have made choices but to us Mothers who have to work 2 jobs to take care of our children women like you appear as high maintenance whiners who complain about no time and being exhausted yet you are still able to fire two paragraphs in response to a simple comment. Hot But I cannot do that, I have a schedule and she needs to eat on time, watch TV for just an hour and sleep when it’s nap time. Let’s all just stop comparing our lives to duke it out and see who “has it the hardest” and just love on one another. The former is an alertness that is very tiresome, but the latter is something that is crippling and painful in ways that are hard to even describe. I definitely didn’t mean to offend, and would say that teaching in and of itself requires constant paying attention. @Erin, yes! I look like a zombie, I’m wearing sweat pants and I borrowed (yes borrowed) frozen pizza from the neighbor. Great points. This means have to be vigilant for signs that they need a break because he won’t worry about it till someone says something. Not being a working mom or a SAHM. :). I am a home based worker for a market research firm, even though I have no children, I can relate to the stress of Hyper-vigilance a mom suffers. The constant highs and lows of motherhood whip us around, chews us up, and spits us out. My SAHM friends plan playdates and zoo/museum visits during the week. are not doing enough to help their family. With that said, I fully expect my husband would be fine if I wasn’t doing any of this. The other two days they have for housework and so on. Not an animation or pg. Which has caused a lot of trauma to our marriage & my mental health. Susan interviewed 23 new parents and found that women were indeed carrying the bulk of the mental load. I really do get what you are saying. The next time someone looks at you with that “why do you seem so out of it when you are home all day?” look… just smile to yourself and know. So I know. The last thing I feel like doing at the end of a day is going online or making a phone call. That was nice because it gave me a couple hours away but then I was answering a phone and dealing with other’s problems! Required fields are marked *, 15 Minute Projects To Get Your Home In Order. The run to him and say Daddy!! I had just had a baby this May 1st and also have a 2 and 4 year old and my home broke out in complete chaos! Oh, how I’d love to go back for just a day and have a sweet one nuzzled on my chest as he sleeps, laugh at a toddler toddling, see that little fist with the just-picked wild flowers and a child smiling up at me! Hi Jody, I am a new member and I feel like I have so many different questions it’s hard to know where to start. I am so thankful that I get to stay home and that my hubby is good with that! Why is there a double standard? But seriously, what you say is soooo accurate! Ha, the half head braid. Some of us miss the milestones and the firsts because we do not have the luxury of being able to watch our children grow. I am a full time oncology nurse and new mom. But that’s the truth. Part of life! They fulfill the far more valuable job of nurturing children but are still required to do the dishes. Sometimes it is even boring. That’s why you’re a tired mom… Normally, the term “hyper vigilance” is used in clinical settings. Yes it is so exhausting paying such close attention to others all day long! The truth is, I need to just help myself and continue to pray to my Lord and Savior! She was born with an u detected heart defect and so was admitted very urgently at 3 days old to a childrens hospital. There is some good points. The asumtpion of working mothers having all the time to relax, do calls and get a diet coke is as horrible as the assumption of SAHMs having time to nap, clean, and rest at hom. Some nights like tonight it’s 1am and I am up to enjoy some peace and quiet. Yes, all that. Thanks for the comment. Talk about multi-tasking? No preparation will leave you nuts, but obsession will mean you don’t get to relax. Using dishes ,making messes , etc. I get about 7 hours at night and am still so exausted. I have an 8 y.o. Do some dinner, bath, songs, reading and then spend time with my husband. I have the same pressures at home (laundry, cleaning, cooking, dishes, etc), but squeezed into only a few hours during the day when I’m home. I would stay up until the last late feed, say 11pm, then I could go to bed and sleep all night. You may feel alone, but in feeling so, you are definitely not alone. You are weary because everyday last week you made sure your little ones had food in their bellies, even if it wasn’t mostly organic and preservative free. Now I finally understand why I am so tired all the time. I am a stay at home mom, and though I don’t work I have been a part time care giver to my mom who in 2012 became a quad amputee. I try many ways to engage my kids. My LO constantly has dark circles under his eyes. This, my dear mothers, is why we’re always so gosh-darn tired all the time. Even keeping them home with my husband I worry if he remembered to feed them, if he’s giving them the right sippy cups, etc. Nothing. But I’m only a female so that’s the only perspective I can write from :). I love these littles with all of my being but I don’t enjoy it all. This, my fellow moms, is why we are tired. Of course, growing a baby usually causes this due to anemia and other factors that can cause fatigue as well. :). Don’t let folks intimidate you and try to run your life. I will make a phone call, change a diaper and hold a baby at the same time. 1. When I’m working, I am engaged in my work as a teacher, I’m not sipping coffee in the lounge. I can’t wait to dig into my download materials and start learning from your tips. With our first child, I was able to get up at 5 am for her feeding, then do P90X and/or Insanity while she slept and bike to work. Margo, I had a feeling it didn’t get “better” but only got “different” :). So you don’t need to feel guilty, about “just” staying at home, “only” working part time, having an “easy” kid, “only” having one child, having a supportive husband, or even using pre-processed food. I raise my daughter on my own. You are right. I think all moms are such amazing beings, all women really. I have three children a 12yr old a 5yr old and a 2yr old and I am exhausted always if I manage to get a nap it’s that really light sleep that when the wind blows a little bit you hear it and wake up I thought that it was just me that did it because when my son who would be 6 now passed away I became like super Paranoid mom who still gets up at least 3 times a night to check to make sure my kids are okay even though it’s been 5.5yrs since he passed. Constantly non stop exhausted and always starving. Who doesn't? 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